Is it worth it.. or is it not??….

flowerwemake7

 

So here I am writing a more personal post. I do a lot of posts revolving around product reviews and giveaways  but also try to when I can, post just because….

Is it worth it.. or is it not???…

No, I’m not talking about is it worth writing just because or not, I’m talking about a deeper issue.

I’m one that can hold a grudge and hold it very well. I’m talking years! If you do me wrong by saying or doing something to hurt me or my family I will never forget it.

Is it worth holding a grudge or is it not??

It’s really sad these days when family is well, just not family material. I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. I hear it all the time where family is perceived the enemy.

Up until a few days ago I hadn’t talked or seen one of my family members in a long time! I swore that I would NEVER talk to them ever again! As holidays and birthdays went by, yeah I thought about them even more but just couldn’t, wouldn’t pick up that phone.

Over two years it was like that until I found out from my brother that my grandfather and one of my Aunts had passed away all in the matter of a week. It had happened 2 months prior and I never even knew… Then it got me thinking.. How am I going to feel if something happens to the person I vowed to never speak to again. Would I be able to forgive myself at that point?  It would all be too late then..

Recently out of the blue I decided to dial the number that hadn’t been dialed in ages but still remembered in a heartbeat what it was and waited for the “Hello” on the other line…

What do you think? Do you think it’s worth it or not? Have you ever held a grudge? Are you still holding that grudge?

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  • Ay Lin

    Live life to the fullest, be happy every day. Stop holding to grudges because you might missed something worth remembering.

  • Payal Bansal (@TrendsnHealth)

    Holding a grudge is like, living with some heavy object over your head all the time. Yes, it is difficult to forget and move on, but it is important for ourself always. So it is worth that you let it go in every sense 🙂

  • Rachael

    Glad you had a little wake up call. I think grudge holding is a bad idea. It is hard to not get pissed sometimes and never want to talk to someone again, but following through on that is not smart.

  • Kath Rivera

    I’m holding grudges like forever now because I was deeply hurt by one of my close friends. I hope to end this and I know this will give me peace of mind and heart. Hope you’ll find peace in your heart too!

  • Aisha Kristine Chong

    Any kind of grudge has to be let go since there is no gain in holding unto one.

  • Aly Mashrah

    I’m so good at holding grudges. If someone does something to hurt me and doesn’t apologize for it, I am okay with not having that negative person in my life. But if it’s something like your sister borrowed your favorite shirt and ruined it type of grudge, then no I don’t do that I don’t think that’s worth it.

  • Aneta Alaei

    You cant sit there and seethe but you can forget about people and never look back. If you are going to be angry that anger will rot YOUR SOUL and RUIN YOU. Don’t be a hater, be a forgetter or forgiver

  • Chrissy

    I honestly think you have to decide it for yourself. I have 8 siblings and there is one I can’t stand and do not talk to due to lies, manipulation etc. I gave her too many chances and I was done. I really hope you can fix it because there is nothing like Family but only you can decide this. Do whatever will make YOU happy 🙂

  • Melissa Smith

    My family is famous for holding grudges. Sometimes I think it’s worth mending, but others I think it’s best to keep it the way it is. I guess it all just depends on what the situation was that started the grudge in the first place.

  • Ashley Nicholas

    In my opinion, it’s never worth holding onto a grudge. If there’s something that’s been done that’s unforgiveable, remove that person from your life. If it’s someone you can’t imagine removing from your life, then let it go and move on. It’s only hurting you, not them!

  • FamiGami

    It is NEVER worth it to hold a grudge. Why would you fester in negativity? If other have a problem with it, that’s THEIR problem.

  • Michelle Knopp

    I didn’t speak to my mother for over a year before. She did not approve of my husband and was very controlling when it came to my son. It not only affected the relationship I had with her, but the relationship I had with my father, grandmother, and sisters as well. She was the one who said she didn’t want anything to do with me. As a mother I couldn’t understand how she could ever turn her back on her child. I thought, as a daughter, it was her responsibility to reach out to me. I was wrong. Today we actually have a good relationship. She has accepted me and my husband. I will always remember the hurt she caused my family, but I still choose to forgive.

  • Deanna Ritz

    Oh wow! That’s a tough topic. For small petty things I think it would be wise to forgive and move on but what if you are talking about something HUGE that they did wrong… I guess the best is to forgive.

  • Gabby

    I have held some grudges for a very long time, and I do not regret them. Sometimes we need to rid ourselves of toxic people. Sometimes this is yeas, other times it’s hard, but to me, it is always worth it.

  • Ben – Gentlebim

    I don’t speak to either of my parents, but it’s not because I’m holding a grudge. They just suck all the energy out of me. They don’t contribute to my life. They actually make it harder, so I just don’t let them in.

  • Rosey

    For most of my life I would have said no way. Then the unthinkable happened, I was wronged by someone so so close to me, very wronged. It took me 7 years to pick up the phone. If it wasn’t family, I probably never would have, but I know in my heart I did the right thing. That person needed someone, and I knew it should be me. Sometimes it’s best to follow your gut on such things, I guess. 🙂 Good luck to you whatever you decide.

  • Trish

    I won’t repeat the comment I left on your pin, that would be boring 🙂 I do know so well what this is like though. I’ve let grudges eat me up inside and it’s just not worth it, especially when the other person couldn’t care less. Do your best to let it go and live your life.

  • Roch

    When I was younger I held grudges towards “bad friends.” Now I have learned that it’s not worth it because you’re like only carrying additional emotional baggage. Let go and pray for them!

  • Tffny

    I’m a strong believer that holding a grudge is only hurting you; Because often times, the person that wronged you has moved on and is enjoying life. Learning to forgive (for your inner peace) but not forget (so you don’t make the same mistake twice) is important. Let it go 🙂

  • Kendra

    Never hold a grudge longer than you want someone to hold one against you! Life is too short!

  • Liz Mays

    I’m holding one now and I can’t decide if I need to let it go or not. It’s really not a forgivable thing, but I also don’t like holding on to anger.

  • Vanessa

    It happens, but the best thing to do is to pull forward with a positive outlook. It is never healthy and remember that you are better than that then to hold a grudge!

  • Amanda @ Adorkablii

    I can hold a grudge and I am very opinionated. I speak my mind and don’t care who knows it. But it’s not worth it. You can forgive without forgetting. Life is short and nothing can be so horrible that you have to hold a grudge and make yourself miserable because that is what you end up doing. You think about the situation, what happened, what was said and you get angry… but why? It’s over, it’s done with, and it’s the past. Forget yesterday, Live for today and Hope for tomorrow. Life is just too damn short to not let go. It comes to a point that what if the grudge you are holding allows you to never speak to this person again? A person you deep down love and then one day they are gone… What are you going to do? You will most likely regret holding that grudge and not getting to spend time with that person and making memories….

  • Samantha Angell

    My personal opinion is that it is not worth holding grudges. You don’t have to be everyones best friend, but its better to forgive and forget!

  • Heather

    Well I’m not holding a grudge, but I have this problem with my mother. I left home at 16 after years of conflict with my mother and abuse and even though she is making an effort to have a relationship now, I feel uncomfortable with it. I never really thought we would speak again and I didn’t have a problem with it due to the abuse. I wouldn’t say I have feelings of hate, I just have feelings of untrust and just a sense of not wanting the drama in my life anymore. I don’t know if that’s the same thing.

  • Jess Scull

    Life is too short to hold grudges! Not worth it!

  • Kelly O

    Nice post. Very vulnerable position. I think that holding a grudge is poison for yourself. It festers, and in some way hardens your heart. Now that doesn’t mean you should have a close relationship with people that are toxic to you. However, it does mean that in your own heart you need to let it go. I am sorry you have been hurt. It is part of life, but that does not make it easier. Especially when it is family. Those of my two cents. I hope you find peace in your current situation.

  • All Natural Katie

    I’m one to hold grudges also, but I try to be better about letting them go. When I worked in the corporate world, I was told that I was like a bulldog. I didn’t let go of things until I was done with them. When I became pregnant a couple of years ago, my goal was to be more relaxed, calm and at peace. I have been working on not taking things too personally and letting things go sooner. My current method is to give myself a pep talk and say that the other person did not mean to offend me and was probably only thinking about themselves. Most of the time, it is true that we don’t say things to offend other people, but they do get offended and they do take things personally.

    Thank you for sharing something very personal to you!

  • Michelle F.

    I am the type that always held grudges when I was younger. Right before trying to get pregnant I let all of the grudges go and became less stressed out. I feel better now and it really does feel great to just let them go.

  • mary

    SO not worth it at all. I attended my brother in laws funeral YESTERDAY. Very eye opening week it has been. He was 50. 50! my little niece and nephews had a great dad…..
    Anywho, you never know when something can happen like this. Always say sorry, always forgive, always say I love you. No matter what. 🙂

  • victoria

    I think that you never know when the day is your last. We made peace with my ex’s family last month. When my ex died two years ago we made contact with them, over a misunderstanding my daughter got her feelings hurt and I told them that they would not talk to her again. Then we had a close friend of ours dies of a heart attack out of the blue last month. He had spent his whole life, waiting to spend it doing what he wanted, now he cant. I sent them a facebook message and they have now been talking to my daughter again. She is the only part of my ex left. I had to humble myself, and it was so hard, but I am thankful that I did.

  • Jayne T.

    Unforgiveness is like drinking poison hoping the other person will die. The person most harmed by it is the one holding the grudge. I know this from personal experience and although it took a lot for me to let go, I’m glad I did.

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